Why it is Better to Give a Hand Up than a Handout

 

Why it is Better to Give a Hand Up than a Handout

By Mark Winkle

Winkle Institute of Worldwide Economic Stability

I have recently been asked to speak before a group of business executives and corporate CEOs.

I find this interesting and a challenge as most people at the top of a corporation know little to nothing about the inner workings of their business or the financial numbers involved.

As a consultant and ad hoc advisor to many countries in the past I take a long term look at making the best of a bad situation, then creating a long-term strategy which is flexible enough to fit the egos of present and future politicians, as they inherently know little to nothing about the world economy.

Just as a clock maker seeks to find the errant part, I look for causes and effects, and see what has already been attempted by the clumsy oafs in office. Then I set about gathering facts and data and communicating with like minded people that care only about fixing the problem, placing personalities aside.

In working with the Europea Union on their self-inflicted fiscal crisis from 2013 to 2017, I received no credit for my efforts as the solution was not easy or painless. Politicians prefer easy solutions, as do most people, including corporat executives. Out of twenty-eight countries in the EU at the time, only one has failed to improve substantially. That failure was as a result of a change in political leaders from a pragmatist to a socialist. The socialist returned the country to a begger state soon after taking office, undoing two hard year of effort to reduce the country's deficit.

I am a firm believer in the Old Testament scripture that said, “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you: that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” I Thessalonians 3:10. Notice that it doesn't say “cannot work.” Jesus said, “The poor will always be with you.” He didn't say that they should remain poor.

If you provide a person with the opportunity to learn more, thereby giving them the opportunity to earn more, and increase their emotional, financial, and spiritual state, you instill in them the knowledge that wisdom is a valuable asset. If a person is shown how they can contribute to the business at large, and how each individual action in their day, either adds to the company's bottom line or subtracts from it, and how each of those actions affect their income, they become better people at work and at home.

If a person is given the opportunity to earn a trade, rather than being given five or ten dollars at a stop sign, they become better equipped to become a giver instead of just being a taker. While it is easier to write a check, take a vote on which of the millions of charities to support financially, or hand out envelopes of cash at Christmas (which I know many of you did to ease your guilt).

By providing your fellow men and women the opportunity to gain knowledge and learn new information, new ideas, new opportunities to grow as a person, a husband, wife, and help them succeed,

you will see yourself grow as a person as well because you were once a student as well. The gift of knowledge is a gift that keeps on giving.

My son usually comes to me for advice when he has messed something up. He said one day,

“You always have the answer.” I replied, “No, I don't, but I know where to look, and what questions to ask.” “If I don't know anything about the subject I ask a professional in that field.”

The best teachers not only impart knowledge, but they show you how to use that knowledge to improve your life. Unfortunately, our education system in the United States doesn't always do a good job in teaching students how to apply the lessons they learn to real life.

Growing up in a family of seven, my parents found that siblings need their own space. So, we endeavoured to build a garage, a new bedroom, and what became my mother's “storage room” As a teenager, I learned to pour concrete, dig footers, frame, hold my curse words after hitting my hand with a hammer, and put down roofing.

In my children's teenage years, they learned the same lessons from me. While they did not like working for meals, housing, transportation, clothes, and spending cash, they have both helped to rehab their own houses much to my delight and surprise, saving themselves thousands of dollars in the process. I know that while they were learning they would have preferred to watch TV, play video games, or hang out with their friends. But building something solid with your own hands and standing back to see what you have accomplished is always a better use of your time.

I now run a shoestring non-profit called “Please Help Me Now,” ('cause tomorrow's too late). We buy, and rehab derelict houses and sell them to people that can't afford a regular down payment for a house. God willing we will one day go nationwaide. I also do the occasional speaking engagement, no pun intended. If you own your own home, you can help others do the same.

In my research of several large non-profit organizations I have found bloated wages at the top, expensive benefit packages, cars, vacations, paid insurance policies, and the like (most of which were received from corporations like yours). Those excesses could have better been spent on helping individuals improve their lives instead of padding the pockets of those in charge.

Many years ago, I met John Kenneth Galbraith III, who at that time was worth $40 billion dollars. By far the financially wealthiest man in the world. He was also the saddest man in the world. He only saw his four children when they needed money. He had no true friends. He was always trying to find ways to make more money. He missed out on a lot in his lifetime.

He said, “Why should I help anyone else. No one helped me.” If I gave everyone that passed me a $100 it wouldn't help them change their life.” I agreed with that premise, but carried the converation a step further. “What if you gave scholarships to your employees, or initiatives to learn more efficient ways to do their jobs?” He sourly replied, “Just another hand out if you ask me.” I said, “If it comes from your heart and not your wallet, it will make a world of difference to them.”

One day on my travels I was swiftly walking to catch a bus. A homeless man cried out to me, “Please sir, I haven't eaten in three days.” I quickly took the $20 I was going to give another person in need and handed it to him, never breaking my stride.” He shouted after me, “God bless you!” I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around to face him. I said, He just did and he always does.”

Unfortunately, I selfishly didn't stop to ask more questions or help him get shelter, let alone job training. Upon arriving at the bus station I learned that the bus had had engine problems and would be forty five minutes late. I had been given plenty of time to truly meet hi needs.

On a different evening in Louisville, Kentucky, my ride was hours late. So, I went for a walk.

I met upon a man lying drunk in the street who, you guessed it, asked me for money. I asked him, “What do you intend to do with God's money? (As all money comes from God, don'tcha know? )

He replied, well, if I still have it in the morning I plan to get something to eat. “ So, I handed him a sandwich.” I said, “Now what?” He then said, “Well, I guess I'll catch a bus.” ” “Where to?” I asked.

“Well, I don't rightly know” he said.

To that I replied, “A man without a plan or a goal goes nowhere.” “You might as well just lie down in traffic and be done with it.” To this, he got angry and tried to get up to fight me, but he was too drunk. He said, “Do you think I'm suicidal or something?” I said, “Well, you obviously are. You are lying next to a railroad and anything could happen. God's got a strange sense of humor, you know?”

As he go angrier, he said, I'm broke, not stupid. I lost my house, my wife left me and took the kids.” I replied, “So here you are, feeling sorry for yourself.”

Now let me stop for moment and explain something to you. I study people. I love to find out what makes them tick. Now, I'm not a gambling man, but I bet this guy $375 cash money if when I saw him next, he had a job and a place to stay and didn't smell like a brewery, no strings attached. It

would be “his appointment.” God would work out the details. So, about a month later, I happened to be in Louisville, Kentucky again and you guessed it, I took a walk. I almost missed him as he was picking up his belongings and getting ready to walk to his new apartment. He reminded me of my bet and chastised me for “forcing him to clean his act up.” As he didn't like to lose a bet. The man had reconciled with his wife. He had started a job, and had stopped drinking the night he made the bet with me. I handed him $400. He took his leave. I have seen him since and he has helped dozens of others in his situation.

What did it cost me? Nothing. Some of you said $375. It WASN'T MY MONEY.” It was GOD'S Money!

Why Giving Money to the Poor Doesn't Help Them

                    I know this is going to be controversial, but I'm going to say it anyway. Giving money to the poor is a waste of money. 

    People are poor for a variety of reasons: laziness, lack of education, lack of transportation, alcoholism. drug addiction, a criminal record, or a family history of the above. Poverty is cyclical. Welfare recipients usually had one or more parents on welfare for an extended period of time. 

    The real problem for those in poverty is a lack of motivation to get out of their economic rut. If a person is standing on a street corner selling drugs or schilling for money from those driving by, they are not motivated enough to change their circumstances, and thus , dig themselves out of poverty. 

    Welfare handouts to the poor do little to solve their self-esteem issues that cause them to remain in their habitual economic situation. At one point in my life I drove a truck for the local Goodwill Industries, Inc. operation. I saw economically and physically challenged people working for minimum wage while the top five people of the organization made away with most of the donated cash. 

    More than 90% of the workers who received government assistance (AFDC, food stamps, etc.)  quit after a few months, as they could receive more money watching television at home than from their labors at Goodwill Industries, Inc. which was supposed to be teaching them job skills. 

    Socialists programs which do no more than provide temporary financial assistance are a waste of taxpayer dollars. Once the money is gone, those in habitual poverty go back to their former station in life. They fail to have the continued motivation to change their lot in life to a higher economic status. 

    College financial aid programs, for instance, that pay for books and tuition, but fail to provide job placement fail because the student has yet to learn to stand on their own. Most college graduates move back home or in with a friend or relative until they find a suitable job because they failed to plan ahead. 

    I once met a man in North Carolina who complained, "Their aren't any jobs around here." My reply was, "There are plenty of jobs in other states. Jobs are only a bus ticket away." He decided that complaining and begging for quarters was a better way to spend his time. 

    Jesus said, "The poor will always be with you."  In fact biblically, if you didn't work, you didn't eat, unless you received alms from those who were charitable enough to help you. Imagine a world in which the lazy were culled. Who then would te liberals buy their votes from? 

    Just as those in poverty waste taxpayer's money on drugs and alcohol, poorly ran government entities such as Amtrak and the US Postal Services who have been on government welfare for years waste the money they receive on pay raises, regulations, vacations, payoffs, and the like. Very little good comes from government assistance. 

    While the handout lasts, the recipients become lazier and lazier. 

    As an international consultant to governments I have seem austere conditions and wastefulness.  Countries that plan ahead for at least ten years fare better when the economy turns than those with deficits abounding, adrift in a flood of wasted drunken spending. 

    Unfortunately, every time a liberal gets into office, they want to buy votes with other people's money. 

    Any economist worth their salt will agree that socialism is a failed economic model. Socialism quickly erodes into an oligarchy with an upper class and a lower class, both supported by the working class. 

    For a country to succeed, those who were elected need to have a long term economic goal. At the present time, I have yet to see any government in the world with a long term economic plan.  Short term fixes work in the short term. But, the don't speak to the root of the problem. 

    The United States in 2020 was energy independent. With the stroke of a pen, an idiot cancelled an oil pipeline and has since caused a fuel shortage, a shipping fiasco, an immigration fiasco, and spiraling inflation, in the soon to be realized failure to usher in an oligarchy in the United States which will be bankrupt on its face. 

Programs that would help the poor:

1. Home ownership - low interest 10-15 year loans to buy and rehab distressed houses

2. Community gardens on vacant lots at no cost

3. Low interest car repair loans

4. paid neighborhood clean-up jobs

5. no property tax for those on a fixed income- social security

6. free college education for all

7. free tutoring for adult education high school programs

8. Job placement services for those coming out of alcohol and drug rehab programs

9. government ownership of hospitals 

10. Term limits for judges, and all holders of political office

A Cancer Survival Guide for Everyone

 

A

Cancer

Survival

Guide

for

Everyone

You may share this and reprint it as you desire.

If this book helps, two last thoughts, never give up, and take time to enjoy being alive every day, no matter how painful your life is at the moment.

© Mark Winkle 2018

What Now?

There is no need for me to explain to you what Cancer is. You already know. A civil war has begun in your body that you can win many battles in. You can enjoy the life you have while you draw breath, and that's what this book is all about.

If your Cancer was detected ealy, you have a better chance at extending your life. You will wake up every day, until one day you won't. That's life. You are born, you live, and then you die.

There is only one exit, and you don't get to choose how your story ends. You are the main character in your story, but you are not the author.

As a Cancer survivor, I have good days and great days. My non-Hodgkins Lymphoma went into remission after nearly killing me five times in three miserable death wishing years.

My doctors nearly killed me. The first round of Ritauxin nearly killed me. My lungs nearly killed me. The beauty of the X-Ray technician at OSU Wexner Hospital nearly killed me. And God laughed at it all.

I have had eighty-one doctors look at my medical files in the past three years. I am a medical mystery. There is no Dr. House in any hospital that I have been in. Doctors, nurses, security, orderlies, X-Ray techs know me by name. I have been in hospitals so often that, thank God, I wake up above ground the next day. Waking up below ground is a bad way to start your day.

We are all dying to get out of here, but there is no reason why we can't enjoy every moment that we can while we are here.

No one knows how I got Cancer, and no one knows why it went into remission. I told my oncologist at my last screning visit that,”I figure it got sick from all of the strawberry and banana fruit smoothies and junk food I fed it, and died.”

Like she said, “It doesn't matter. A win is a win.” I like that answer.

For Mom, Dad, Brothers, Sisters and Relatives

You will never know what your Husband, Wife, daughter, son, Aunt, Uncle, niece, nephew, or in-law is going through. Just being there for emotional support is the best medicine a Cancer patient can ever be given.

Show them you love them. Show them you care. Talk to them about what is going on outside of the house and hospital. Help them build their hope.

Don't be afraid to show your emotions. Dying is tough for them to face as much as it is for you to face. We all will die one day. We all want to live nice long healthy lives that are carefree with money trees at every corner, but life comes with its problems. Cancer is just another obstacle to overcome.

Be honest with them and yourself. They know that they are sick. They know that they might die. Trust me, as someone who fought this demon for three years, hacked, coughed, and puked every minute and even planned my own funeral... they know how sick they are.

One out of every four people will get Cancer. If the Cancer doesn't kill you, the chemo will. If the chemo doesn't kill you, your doctor's mistakes will. If your doctor's mistakes don't kill you, the side effects of having Cancer will. Once you get Cancer, you will die one day.

You might live a hundred years after your Cancer goes into remission, but truth be told, you too, will die one day.

Trust me, your Cancer patient understands this fact at a deeper level than you can imagine. They think about dying hundreds of times a day, and even wish it was all over already.

Your job is to keep living your life and to love them. Give them hope that they will get better. Be there when they want or need to talk, about anything, even death.

Don't act like there is nothing wrong, because there is definitely something wrong. Dying is never pretty. Don't try to be brave, just be yourself- and let them know how much you love and care about them.

Make them part of your life, but not the center of your life.

Pray for them. Pray with them. Hug them. Kiss them. Hold them. Touch them. Listen to them. Be there. But, don't make them your world.

Changes

Facing a life and death situation changes the way you look at things.

I used to be a super serious guy. I had plans for the future. I had plans of what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, and who I wanted to be.

I still have plans, but I am more honest about them now. I hope I get to Australia in my lifetime. I hope I can vacation in Hawaii some day. I hope I live a long and healthy life. I used to be more certain that life would turn out the way I wanted it to. Then, I was misdiagnosed for two years, by top lung doctors who guaranteed me that I did not have Cancer, until the day my lungs collapsed.

After Robotically lasering the calcium out of both of my lungs, a very rude doctor, full of himself, told me that he “thought I might have Cancer.” A second biopsy three days later confirmed it. A second opinion by the National Cancer Institute's top Clinician confirmed it.

I still remember the first line of the emeil I received.

Dear Mr. Winkle, June 2017

We regret to inform you that..... , the rest doesn't matter. We wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

Dr. OhMyGod!

My life had suddenly changed. I had already had two lung surgeries in 2015 on my right lung. For months my immune system purged mucus to empty my lungs from the infection that the Cancer had helped invade my body.

My first round of chemotherapy sent me into shock and then into ICU. I never returned.

I looked into alternative therapies. Fruit smoothies, vegetable smoothies (yuk!), apricot kernels, baking soda, vitamins, probiotics, enemas, body cleansing, yoga, exercise, rest- try everything! Or give up.

If I had continued my chemotherapy, the chemo drugs would have given me Leukemia II, with an eight year life span.

The choice of doing chemotherapy or not doing chemotherapy is a personal one. Chemo works for some people. Radiation works for some people. Alternative therapy works for some people. The rest die.

There are two ways that Cancer works- either your body gets strong enough to kill it, or it kills you. Every day Cancer patients make a choice. Sometimes God lets you win.

Cancer makes you look at death in the face.

It makes you mad. It makes you afraid that there is nothing you can do about anything. And you can't. And that's the truth. Cancer changes the way you live your life. It makes you evaluate what is and is not important.

The scars that Cancer leaves- physical, emotional, and spiritual are with me every day. I never wanted Cancer. I am glad I don't have it any more. But, I am still not happy that I had to go through it.

There are days that it is hard to breath. There are times that I have to stop and catch my breath and let my heart slow down.

Some people go crazy and throw caution to the wind. I tend to pace myself for the long distance that my body still has to travel. I rest more often, taking time to look at the scenery and enjoy the moment. I am hardly ever in a hurry any more. I plan ahead. If things don't work out, it is no big deal.

I know what I want to do with some of the rest of my life, the rest I have left the myself open to. After all, God has a wicked sense of humor.

Be open to change.

Doctors, Nurses, and Medical Staff

The best medicine anyone ever gave me was a smile.

The second best medicine I have received is when someone laughs with me - at anything.

If you have read this far, you know that I am a medical mystery. My case is part of three clinical Cancer studies. At least three medical students wrote their research doctoral thesis on my case. Eighty-one doctors, including pulmonary, cardiology, radiology, and oncology specialists could not figure out why my body was trying to kill itself.

But, it does not matter. Since they could not figure out why my body was dying, they could not give me a cure. Every Cancer is different. Every Cancer patient is different.

But they never gave up on me. Despite working in a career where they face and make life and death every day, I received the best of care from 90% of my nurses, and 95% of my doctors.

I consider myself a very smart person, but I know that I don't know everything about anything. No one does.

Doctors hate going into a dying patient's room. I have seen them wait outside my room until everyone else has left the area, then meekly come into my room. Speaking softly, they ask me , “How are you feeling today?” I joke by replying, “With my fingers!” I try not to complain too much. They have no idea how bad I feel and I can't put it into words sometimes. The fear of dying is the worst fear anyone will ever face. My blood pressure goes up every time I even think about doctors, nurses (some really smoking hot), hospitals, needles, shots, and medicine of any kind. I take a deep breath and relax, and move on with my day.

We understand how the body works. We understand how Cancer works. There should be a way from doctors to shut off a body's immune system and then reboot it.

The hardest thing for patients to understand is that their doctor can't fix them. With Cancer, one part of your body is attacking another part of your body.

The hardest thing for doctors and nurses to understand is that they cannot save everyone. Sometimes the clock stops ticking on a patient's life. You have done your best to help me understand what is going on. You have prescribed the medication you thought would work. I understand your frustration, your pain, your anguish, your sense of failure. I empathize with you. And I/we want to thank you for caring when we thought our life was ending. For standing with me/us when my darkest hours came and I thought my life was over. You stood by me and with me/us and I saw the love you had for your fellow man in your eyes and on your face. You gave me part of your soul today and it helped me keep going into tomorrow. Your thoughts of care and concern for my/our well being washed over me like a river of emotion as I watched you struggle to keep your composure and not let me see you cry. You were strong when I was at my worst and gave me hope, strength, and courage to keep fighting- to live another day- when all I wanted to do was cover my head, curl up in a ball and die.

My nurse's kind words calmed my fears as well as my soul. Your smiles and laughter at my bad jokes made me feel human again when I felt like giving up. Your prayers and attention to my every need helped me make it through my worst days, when my soul ached and my body begged for death.

Your nagging kept me mindful of your high hopes for my body's repair, if I would just do what I was told and quit fidgetting.

Your persistence in finding a vein to draw another drop of blood from my poor tired body let me know you were not giving up on me. You were rowing with me to get me back into the arms of my loved one. You gave me empathy and listened to me when no one else would.

I/we thank each and every medical professional from the paramedic, doctors, X-ray technicias, Radiologists, oncologists, surgeons, pulmonary doctors, cardiologists, nurses, nurses aides, hospital nutrition staff, meal deliversy staff, utility staff, orderlies, security, lab techs, cleaning staff, and even billing staff for empathizing with me/us in our fight against Cancer.

To the unsung heroes...

my eighty-one clueless doctors who taught me to never give up one at a time.